Get Your Fat Butt in That Swimsuit

Let me just tell you about my wonderful night last night (said dripping with sarcasm). I was in bed by about 9:30pm, I know right? Living on the wild side this summer! I had a conference today so I wanted to be in bed early so that I could survive being up by 6am. I settled down and was hoping I was close to sleep by 10pm, but nope. At 1am I'm still awake watching Netflix. I know, I know, I'm not supposed to watch TV that close to bed time but I can't sleep without the noise. Anyways. . . at some point I fell asleep. It was great. All 2 hours of it. 3am rolls around and here I am wide awake again.

Seriously? What is wrong with me? Why can't I be like a normal person and just fall back asleep?

Instead I start having anxiety about not being able to sleep and that creates more anxiety. I try to take my mind off my anxiety and try using techniques that are supposed to help me fall asleep. Ask me how that went. . .  I never fell back asleep. Surprised? Me neither.  Trying to take my mind off my anxiety was supposed to work but hey I created a blog post in my head instead.

I had this amazing blog post in my head. It was beautiful. It was perfect. I saw what it needed to look like. What it needed to sound like. What I needed you to hear. It was awesome.

Can I recreate it? I don't know. Why didn't I just get up and write it? I don't know. Why do I have a million things going on in my head all the time so I can't calm down enough to sleep? I don't know.

I just don't know. How do you awesome bloggers write blog posts that make sense? And write regularly? I have a million things to say but no idea how to say them. It makes my head hurt but I'm not giving up.

Fair warning- This post did not come together they way I wanted it to so read it at your own risk.

Anyways. . .

In the middle of the night I was trying to get my mind off my anxiety by daydreaming about going to the pool today. Of course instead of just laying in the sun my brain begins to go through all sorts of other pool related things and settles on swimsuits and being fat. Did I just say fat? Yes. I am fat. Surprise! Fat, curvy, plus size, sturdy. It doesn't matter what word you use. I'm not worried about it. Why are you?

When I said my mind settled on thinking about swimsuits and being fat you probably thought I was going somewhere negative with that. Nope. The opposite actually. Yesterday I was shopping and found a super cute swimsuit for my curvy self. That's all, I was daydreaming about wearing my new swimsuit to the pool. Excited I found something in my size! The end.

 But your fat Heather. Aren't you embarrassed? Not in the slightest. Are you?

It is crazy to hear so many ladies complain about their bodies. Ladies 100 pounds lighter than me worried about being in a swimsuit. I am sad for you.  Why can't we be thankful instead of shameful when thinking about our bodies?

My body tells a story, a painful story. A story that created the person I am today.  Even though I haven't taken care of my body like I should, it has taken care of me. My body shows the trial of a painful marriage. The almost unbearable stress and pain of getting a divorce during graduate school. The realization that my perfect life of being married with children was gone. The anxiety of opening a new school. Why be ashamed of that?

What about your body? Did your body survive miscarriages? Create beautiful children? Carry you through difficult times? Cancer? Rape? Sexual abuse? Sadness? Depression? Anxiety? Pain of any sort?

And your still alive?

How amazing. Seriously. Amazing!

So you haven't lost the baby weight? You've got that scar on your leg where they took out the cancer? Are you really going to let that stop you from enjoying having fun with your children at the pool? Enjoying a day at the lake with your family?

What are your thoughts when you see someone with a less than perfect body in a swimsuit? Me? I'm thinking I want to be that cute grandma with saggy boobs and wrinkly legs playing with her grand kids. The gal in the bikini across the way with a bunch of stretch marks? I wish I had a child to give me those stretch marks.

Do you really think that people are that worried about what you look like in a swimsuit? No? Then why are you worried about it? Let's be honest. Most of them are too worried about their bodies to worry about yours! If for some reason they are actually concerned isn't it their problem, not yours? What they think of you is none of your business.

Find a way to accept your body where it is right now. If you think you will be happy once you get to your goal weight, or tone those thighs, or get rid of that gut, I have news for you. That is not happiness. Stop chasing happiness and find it where you're at. Right now I am the heaviest I've ever been but I am also the happiest I've been in 8+ years.

So this summer you have a choice to make. You can be that mom under the tree, dripping sweat, fully clothed and just trying to survive OR you can put on that swimsuit and not worry about your body.

I will tell you this. It takes practice and work to accept your body but it's so worth it. Wear the swimsuit. Just do it. Once I decided to change my thinking about my body it took some time to get comfortable in it but I've done it.  Maybe you should try it to.

I'll see ya at the pool. Look for the curvy girl in all her cottage cheese glory strutting around in her adorable swimsuit.

 For a great blog post about this topic check out Scary Mommy and her post called "Put On Your Damn Swimsuit."

A couple of places I like to get my plus size swimsuits in case you were wondering:
Target- If you're willing to do the high wasted fatkini thing then you can get some great tops in the regular sized swimwear, cause even skinny girls have big boobs sometimes. They go by cup size like a bra so that's awesome. Then they have some great high wasted plus size bottoms.
Downeast- 40% off through the end of the week
Swimsuitsforall.com- Stuff is always on sale. Don't buy anything if it isn't on sale. Sign up for discount e-mails. Check sizing charts before buying since there are many different brands.
Hapari- Higher prices but good quality.
Lane Bryant- Higher price but very nice. I am a bit too small for their suits but when I have checked them out they seem like they are good quality and supportive.

To Whom It May Concern

To Whom It May Concern:

This letter is to inform you that it is not appropriate to turn into a monster because of graduation. Why is it that when graduation comes around you allow your child to yell at me when you're sitting right there? Why are you allowed to tell me I am the worst counselor ever? To threaten me? With suicide? Really?!? When did graduation become solely my responsibility?

Remember how you are the parent? How you are able to check grades and graduation requirements all day everyday if you wanted to? Remember the letters I sent home each quarter letting you know your student was still not on track to graduate? Oh and that meeting where we had the same conversation? Plus all those times I pulled that child of yours in to talk to them about getting packets done or passing classes? Remember that? I sure do. Oh and I have it all documented if you want more information.

Remember how your student is the one who does the work? Remember how your student is the one graduating? Well I do.

Why all year did you not care until the last 2 weeks of school, or even the morning of graduation? When did it become the responsibility of everyone else to graduate your child? I thought that responsibility would fall on you, the parent, and your child. I am so confused.

The 2 most important parts of my job are the mental health of your child and getting them graduated because it improves their mental health. All year I work hard to help your child get to where they need to be and still I am at fault? Really?

You're child, your responsibility.

Sincerely yours,

A wonderful, talented, caring counselor who ALWAYS does everything she can to help your child make it through their depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, etc PLUS get them to graduation.

I had to write this out. Not to give any of these parents power but to get it out of my head so that I can move on. Thankfully in these few situations I am able to have my 30 minutes of being upset, crying, venting, what ever it takes, but then moving on. The hard part for me is that I feel like the 2 or 3 parents that get upset overshadow all the other good I do.  I have hundreds of students I help each year. Even the students who didn't graduate on time got plenty of help from me whether or not their parents believe it. It is something I have to be okay with, but it's hard.  I am invested in each of these children and love them so much so when their parent argues that I don't care, it hurts.

I also wonder how anyone can feel good about treating someone the way I get treated.

When I was in school, if I didn't do what I needed to, I was in trouble, not everyone else. When did things change? And how is this healthy for the child? What happens when this child gets to college? Who saves them then? When they get a professional job? I can just imagine my mom going in to my boss if something goes wrong and blaming him.  I would be humiliated and I am pretty sure it wouldn't go over well. I'm a grown up. I have to deal with it. Everyone makes mistakes and guess what? The mistakes I've made have helped me grow. A LOT. There are things I've done in my career that have been mistakes and guess what? After that mistake? I never did it again. I learned way more from that then from my mom saving me.

If I do something wrong no one is there to blame other people, but I handle it pretty well. Wanna know why? Because I was allowed to fail. If I left a big project until the last minute and had a meltdown, I still had to get it done. No one saved me and I'm so thankful. My parents did it right. They supported me and helped me when I needed it but they didn't save me from situations I created myself. Thank you for that.

Here's my last thought and then I'm done.

What if your child needs this experience to learn something? What if instead of teaching your child to blame others, you taught them to learn from their mistakes? So they have to graduate late? Make it a learning experience. Yes it breaks my heart that your child didn't get to walk but teach them to learn from it. What could they have done differently? In the future how can they make sure something like this doesn't happen again?

Happy people don't fail
Happy people just learn
Little Big Town- From my current favorite song! At first I wasn't sure I liked those lyrics but seriously failure is the best way to learn.

What You Think of Me is None of My Business

I can't believe how therapeutic writing that last blog post was. Normally Mother's Day is the worst, but this year, I was able to cry. I was able to feel my feelings and then move on and have a pleasant day. Now if I'm being honest, it wasn't the best day ever, but I was able to move on and not dwell on being childless.

Now what? What if I want to blog again but I don't know how? What if it isn't good enough? What if I am a one hit wonder? What if. . .

I guess we'll find out together.

The last time I blogged, I didn't have to think, it just happened. I was sitting thinking about Mother's Day and the idea of blogging popped into my head. No way was I going to blog. I hadn't in years! I ignored the thought and watched an episode on Netflix, but I didn't hear a word of it. I was stuck in my own head and the only way to get out was to write. Why not share then. Right?

Wrong.

What if no one likes it? What if someone thinks I shared too much? What if. . .

Clearly I decided to share anyways.

Now my mind keeps racing. What do I share next? What, in my head, is worth sharing? Everything? Nothing? I have no idea but here goes nothing.

WHAT YOU THINK OF ME IS NONE OF MY BUSINESS (This will most likely be the first of many posts about this book so if you're a little confused by my post, that's okay. It will make sense eventually. I think. . .)

For whatever reason my mind always goes to the worst case scenario. So many "what ifs" going on in my head. With everything that goes on in there, I could be so self-conscious I would never speak again. But why? Aren't I good enough?

Actually I am. I AM GOOD ENOUGH. I wish that I could say that those "what ifs" have disappeared, but that isn't reality. I recently came to the concision that I am good enough, but things aren't rainbows and unicorns now. When you believe something for long enough it becomes your reality. So how do I get out? One month at a time? One day at a time? Maybe one hour at a time? NO. One thought at a time.

The truth is "that you have made decisions about yourself, others, and life that were once conscious decisions but have become unconscious ones and yet continue to direct your decisions and to determine the quality of your life". Yeah, you might have to read that again to catch what it's saying. I am going to have to read the book multiple times if I want to really understand it all.

I created a reality that I don't like! Why did I do it? Why did I rely so heavily on what other people thought of me? I don't know, but it stops now. Okay fine, it doesn't stop, but it's slowing down. I still fight those "what if" thoughts every day but it's getting easier.

"What ifs" are dumb. At first I thought I just needed to replace my negative thoughts with positives. Nope! It doesn't work that way. Sure thinking "what if they like it?" is better than thinking "what if they don't?" but I still don't like it. I am still looking for validation from others.

I need to stop looking for validation from others. You need to stop looking for validation from others. Stop right now. Why are you doing that? Aren't you good enough without having to hear it from others? Didn't God create you in his own image? Doesn't he think you're good enough? Yes? So why question him?

Are you trying your best?
Then you are good enough

Are you moving forward?
Then you are good enough

Are you surviving and maybe even enjoying life?
Then you are good enough

Are you struggling and just trying to survive until tomorrow?
Then you are good enough

No matter your situation YOU are good enough.

To the Childless Mother

I am inside my own head a lot. I think a lot more than I speak. I think deeply about things before I share with others. I have a lot to say but I don't always say it. If you have gotten to know me, I may talk too much, but with most people I listen, I watch, I observe. I am not the talker. I am the listener.

If you've ever been in my office you may have seen this quote once before.

Today I feel the need to "talk". I thought about doing a Facebook post but I have way more to say than that so here I am blogging for the first time in over 2 years. I like to blog but I never do it anymore. For a while after my divorce I felt like I didn't have anything of importance to say so I stayed inside my head. In about 2009 is when I started to believe that I was nothing. Nothing I said mattered and no one wanted to hear it. I wasn't important and I was just weird. Well guess what? Everyone is weird and if you think I'm weird then I'm totally okay with that. I am reading this book called "What You Think of me is None of my Business" and I am taking it to heart. In the last couple of months I have changed my ways. I'm kinda smart and when I want to share something from now on, I will, so be prepared. I speak my mind now and it feels wonderful. I also stopped blogging because I'm not the best writer but again, I DON'T CARE. You don't have to read it.

Anyways today's blog has nothing to do with fashion and who knows if my future blog posts will have to do with that. I don't know if I will blog again tomorrow or 3 years from now but today I have something to say.

Mother's Day is one of the hardest days of the year for me. Each year I try to be happy and enjoy the day, but it is hard. I want to be happy so that I don't make my own mother sad, but it is hard. She is wonderful and I hate to see her hurting for me. She is amazing.

Today I choose to feel whatever I am feeling. With my kids at school I help them work on feeling their feelings and then moving on. Not to wallow but to let yourself feel those emotions and learn how to deal with them. Now I'm learning to do it myself.

To all the mothers who don't have traditional children it's okay to be sad. As I sit here teary eyed I understand that pain. I don't have the experiences you do and your situation may be completely different but I understand the emptiness of not having your own child.  It's okay to feel what your feeling but remember that you are still a mother.

To the mother who has lost a child, never had a child, or is desperately trying to have a child. You are a mother. To the single women who may never get married, you are a mother. To any women who has ever cared for a child or anyone really, in any capacity, you are a mother.

To the children who make me feel like a mother every day- thank you. On this day I try to focus on, not my lack of children, but the love I have for many.

To the child who came to me with pills in her pocket and a plan to end her life. Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me instead so that I stop the heartache of your mother losing her child.

To the child who came to me when she found out she was pregnant and didn't know what to do. Thank you for trusting me to support you like a mother.

To each child that shares their worries and pain with me. I love you and I am thankful you can trust me like a mother.

To all 400+ children that are in my care each year. The ones that always make me cry at graduation ,because I can't bare to watch them go, but I am so excited for their future. Thank you for letting me love you and care for you for a few short years.

To my wonderful niece and now 2 nephews, thank you for teaching me what it's like to love someone  so much it hurts.

To my Heavenly Father. Thank you for giving me the ability to love so many children unconditionally. Children that are hard and not always easy to love, but for some reason I can.

Our ability to love others comes straight from our Heavenly Father and it is what makes us mothers. Not our traditional children or lack thereof.

Today my heart is full. Full of the heartache of not having my own children. Full of the love I have for all the children who have the opportunity to love. Full of gratitude for this special talent I have to love others.

Whatever you feel today- it's okay. Feel what you need to but remember

YOU ARE A MOTHER

Fashion on a budget. Is there such a thing?

I've always loved J. Crew but it was that store that I looked into longingly but just walked past. I knew I couldn't afford it so why depress myself by looking at beautiful clothes I cant have? I am obviously not a good window shopper. . .

Well now I can go into J.Crew and no I did not get rich all of a sudden! I learned about the Outlets at Traverse Mountain in Lehi (by Cabela's). I had never been to the Outlets because I heard they were all high end stores that I couldn't afford but I recently learned the truth! Yes there are high end stores but the J. Crew Outlet is very reasonable. The prices on the the tags still show between $40 (for t-shirts!)-$100+. That may discourage you but here is the cool part. Everything is on sale since it is an outlet. Everything I have gotten there so far has been at least 40% off but most of it was more like 60% off. Awesome right? Wait there's more! :) If you are either a college student or teacher you get an extra %15 off. Perfect for poor college students and poor teachers right?!?! I think so. It may be worth checking out.

Since I want to be a " Mormon Chic School Counselor" (MCSC) I am working on getting some nice clothes for my internship next year and my future career so this was a good find. I have yet to see the rest of the outlets besides Gap (I did stop in there and they had some good deals too) but I will keep you updated.

First J. Crew Purchase

The purple floral shirt was originally $64.50 but I got it for $10.19. Seriously amazing! Striped shirt dress normally $59.50  and I got it for $25.29. Both of those were from J. Crew. The mint cardigan was from Gap originally $39.99 and I got it for $7.99!

Always get lots of compliments when I wear my J. Crew shirt and elephant necklace that you cant see in this picture (It is in the first picture).

I hope you ladies at least go check it out up there because there are also stores like Carter's there so you can dress the kids cute too!

Enjoy

Casual Friday (Boyfriend Jeans)

Hey its casual Friday! I love casual Friday because it gives me a day to dress more casual and wear t-shirts and all that fun stuff. Sometimes I wear random concert t-shirts or a school shirt but today I decided to just wear a plan black shirt and pair it with my boyfriend jeans. I have had some people ask me about what boyfriend jeans are and how to wear them so I will tell you what I think.

•  I like boyfriend jeans with t-shirts, like what I wore today for casual Friday. 
• With boyfriend jeans it seems like they are always rolled up and they are supposed to be baggy.
• I also have seen a lot of boyfriend jeans that have holes which is really cute too.
• The great thing about boyfriend jeans is that you can dress them up or down and make tons of different outfits!

I wanted to look a bit more feminine today so I added the floral cardigan but if I had gone more simple with just the black t-shirt that would have been really cute too. I also added a pop of color with my fun flats of course.

Black v-neck from Target, Cardigan from Bella Ella Curvy, Boyfriend jeans from H&M+, flats from Ross. Did you notice I didn't take a selfie and that the pictures are better quality? Well I have decided to have other people help me out taking pictures at work so that I can now be the "Mormon Chic School Counselor (MCSC)" to be. :)

I don't do heels but if I did how cute is that?

If you wear garments just be careful with holes. You can always buy patches to attach under the holes if you do get jeans with holes up higher.

Hope this helps you with your boyfriend jean questions!

Enjoy!

5 Minute Makeup

It's time for some make up! This is good for you busy moms that barely have 5 minutes for yourselves or if you are just lazy like me and don't want to wake up earlier! I will share my fun full make up another day. This is just a quicky!

The 5 minute makeup routine involves 4 steps but if you are really in a hurry then you can skip step 1 and 2. Step 3 and 4 can be done anywhere like waiting in the car for the kids or while the baby is down for a nap then you can take 5 minutes and do those two steps and move on to all that cleaning and good stuff. 

Step 1: The very first thing I always do in the morning is use a make up remover wipe. I just get the cheap Walmart ones. I have very sensitive skin but these work great for me. 

Cheap and works great!

Step 2: Put some face lotion on. It may not matter to you but I will explain later, in a different post, why it actually helps me with my makeup. Of course it is also good for your skin too:)

This is what I use every morning and again just from Walmart

Step 3: The good stuff! First put some eyeliner on that water line. Wondering what a water line is? Look below! P.S. The first picture below is me with NO makeup on. Not many people see that so you are lucky.

Putting eyeliner on your waterline really makes a difference to how you look. Check out the middle picture. Can you tell which eye has the eyeliner on it? Crazy how one little thing can do that right? I have to warn you though. When you first try out putting eyeliner on your waterline it may sting and you may be hating me but once you get used to it then it is a quick trick to make your eyes pop. When you try it out I would just put it on the bottom and try out the top part of your eye later once you have had some practice so that you don't hurt yourself to bad:)

Again just a Walmart pencil for me. I am a couponer so I wait until I see a coupon and buy whatever brand. It doesn't seem to make a difference what brand or anything. Cheap is best for this! If you have trouble with this whole waterline thing let me know and I will help you. It takes some getting used to. I have been doing it for years now so I don't think anything of it but I remember how it used to hurt and make my eyes water.

Step 4: Mascara

You can see on the right that mascara also helps you look better.

This is where you want to spend your money. MAC mascara is awesome. I didn't know that mascaras were really that different from each other until I tried this stuff. This stuff lasts forever and I wait until there is a mascara event at Nordstrom they do buy 2 get 1 free.

So there is your before and after

You could even keep eyeliner and mascara in your purse or diaper bag and when you have a second put it on.

Want more then 5 minute make up?I will post soon with more steps for those of you who have more time (my regular make up routine) and eventually I will post about my full make up routine (my routine when I am feeling extra ambitious)


Enjoy!

OOTD

Okay so here is my outfit of the day for today. Pulled out the chambray and threw on one of my new sweaters from Christmas. Big sweaters are in right now so if you have your chambray shirt, which you should since it's one of the 10 staples:), then put a big sweater over it and you have a really cute outfit. I also have on my new boots! 

One more pic. Notice my cute gloves:) This whole outfit is from Nordstrom including the gloves! 

Random tip while I am thinking about it. I may have talked about this before but here is a thought for you. If you got money for Christmas use it to buy nicer good quality stuff. When I get money as a gift that is when I buy my nice quality staples. It's hard for me to spend a lot of money when it is my own but if it is a gift for me I buy something nice and then I remember who it's from too. You can save $10 or $20 here and there to buy trendy stuff but how often do you have $50 or more at one time? NEVER in my case so think about what you are buying!

Be on the look out for my 5 minute makeup blog post that will be up soon!

Enjoy!

Boxing Day (One In One Out) and Winter Tips

Ever seen Boxing Day on the calendar and it says its a Canadian holiday? Well I have and when I was younger I always wondered why people cared so much about some sport that they had a holiday for it. Eventually I learned from my aunt who lived in Canada for a long time that boxing day is a day that Canadians get rid of old stuff they don't need and send it to the poor.

Since then the day after Christmas I go through my clothes and shoes and get rid of at least as many things as I received (this is the one in one out strategy I have talked about  before). This morning I decided to Google Boxing Day and different countries do different things for boxing day. In Canada it has turned into a Black Friday kind of thing and in other countries it is a day where they give gifts to people who do services for them like maids, hair stylist, and others who give them services of some kind. The internet says that there is not a specific origin of Boxing Day so I am going to go with mine.

I have this thought about getting rid of things, especially clothes and shoes. I feel like since I am lucky enough to get nice things I should help others too. This is my thought- Give away clothes and shoes that you haven't worn in the last 6 months and probably wont wear again. This way if you know someone who is poor or you can send them to DI while they are still in style people who are less fortunate then you can have nice clothes too. I am not rich by any means but for Christmas I always get a decent amount of money to spend on clothes and so when I get something new I get rid of something old. Give someone else a chance to get nice things too. I know what it is like to be poor enough that you can barely afford food let alone nice clothes so think about that now that Christmas is over and you have nice new things. What can you get rid of? What shoes are sitting around not being used that someone else would love? Have some random shirt in your closet that you never have really worn because after you bought it you decided you didn't really like it? Get rid of it!

Some people get really attached to clothes because they have memories attached but the memories are still there even if you get rid of the clothes. Give someone else a chance to make memories in your clothes. 

If you are like me it feels good to get rid of stuff. I have a small house with tiny closets so I love to get rid of things I wont wear. I use my one in one out policy all year when I buy new things but especially during Christmas time because I get more then just one new thing. Try it, it feels good.

Just something to think about. 

How to stay warm out there!

  The only way I survive winter is the clothes!

Get a cute beanie. Obviously here it is just for looks not to keep me warm but when I am going to be out in the cold I use it for reals to cover my ears and stuff. I got mine at the Holy Cow but I have seen cute ones at Nordstrom and Target

Get a cute colored scarf. Make sure it is comfortable though so that you can wear it every day. I am allergic to wool so I have to be careful of that so put it on and see how it feels before you buy it. Target always has nice ones that have matching gloves and things like that. It doesn't even have to be a fashionable scarf just a winter scarf in a color you like! I got mine from my mother in law for Christmas one year so I don't know where it is from but it is super warm.

Get a coat with a hood. Hoods help keep you warm! (notice the beanie being used for reals)

And of course gloves. I have three pairs I switch between because they get dirty since I wear them so much but you really only need one pair. One suggestion though is to get some that you can use with your smart phone. The ones in this picture have different fabric on the thumb and pointer finger so that I don't have to take them off just to use my phone. I got these at Walmart.

Again from Walmart with the different fabric on the fingers.

These obviously just show my fingers so that I can use my phone when I need to.

Enjoy and stay warm if you can!

Silent No Longer

I'm back . . .  Again. . . . So I haven't been posting for a while because I have been waiting for something and it never happened so I am done waiting and I am going to share my frustration with you. A while back Chelsea Cannon told me that I should talk to Bella Ella about being one of their bloggers. They were looking for new bloggers and so I thought I would try. I was a bit nervous about it but I was glad that someone thought I might do a good job. Thanks Chelsea! So I contacted them. They had me come into a photo shoot to see how things are done so that I could write a blog about it. When I showed up at the shoot the seemed to like me and even asked me to come back and do a test shoot because they thought I might be a good curvy model. That made me feel pretty good so I agreed.

I showed up for the shoot and it was a lot of fun. The photographer was great and the atmosphere was relaxed and fun. I don't know what i expected a photo shoot to be like but this was fun! I also felt good that someone thought I was pretty even though I am big and not happy with my body. While I was there the lady that had me come in for the blogging part said she would contact me because she liked my blog and wanted me to blog for them. That day I went away feeling pretty dang good. Knowing that they thought I was good looking enough to at least have a trial shoot and they also wanted me to blog for them! Even if I didn't get the modeling job I was okay with it because I at least had a fun time.

A few days later I got a very exciting e-mail! Here it is: (This was October 10th by the way)

Hey Heather!

 

Pictures were processed, and we love them! I'd love to contract you as one of our models. More information as to the contract's terms, scheduling of shoots, and Curvy products are pending. If you are still interested, I will reach out to you as soon as I have more details! :)

 

How exciting is that?!?!? At this point I was so excited and kept reading the e-mail to make sure I read it right. That same day I responded and say of course I was interested. On October 28th I received another e-mail saying that it would be a little bit longer and I was fun with that. I didn't want to bug anyone so I waited a couple of weeks and then send an e-mail on November 19th. In it I just said I was checking in to see how things were going. Since then I have heard nothing. . .. I thought maybe it was just taking a really long time but recently Bella Ella Curvy has been posting pictures with new models in them and they aren't me. :( I know I am not the prettiest girl ever but I feel like I am as cute as these ladies. What do I know though right?

New model number 1

New model number 2

 

Anyways, I didn't want to tell anyone until it actually happened so I stopped blogging and all that for a while. I am done waiting now. No idea what happened but if they changed their mind about me couldn't they have at least sent me an e-mail? I think so. . . Now when I go shop at Bella Elal I feel weird and so I have kind of stopped shopping there.

Now I am back and trying to forget about all this Bella Ella stuff and move on. Before I could I had to share with someone so I am sharing it with you my blog readers. 

I will be blogging like normal again now. If you have any suggestions about what you would like me to blog about leave a comment or message me on Facebook.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

 

Polished

I am getting lucky lately so I have another amazing thing to share with you! I love nail polish and I have hundreds of bottles but I don't get to paint my nails as often as I would like to because of school and work and all that good stuff! The painting part is quick enough but waiting for it to dry without smudging it cleaning or something takes FOREVER! I don't have that much time to wait.

 Yesterday I went to the beauty supply store with my sister because something happened to my top coat and it has been bubbling. I was going to get the same old OPI top coat because it is amazing but something happened! I asked one of the stylists there about top coat because there were a couple of different OPI kinds. What she told me next was too good to be true. She showed me this other top coat and said it was amazing. She told me all about it and how once she puts it on it dries really quickly. She can paint her nails and then be in bed 15 minutes later and not get smudges or sheet lines. My thought was "oh great some awesome top coat that is going to cost me a ton of money I don't have." Well guess what? It was the same price as the OPI top coat. I was still skeptical but it was cheap enough that I bought it to try it.

As you can guess, since I am writing a whole post about it, it WORKED! I put it on and was amazed within a few minutes it was completely dry. I went to bed shortly after because I wanted to see if it was really that good and this morning I woke up with no sheet lines! AMAZING! 

Here it is! My sister sales it if you want some and don't know where to get it!

NO SHEET LINES!

Enjoy!

BEST.DAY.EVER!

I am so excited right now. I came right home from Bella Ella Curvy to blog about this! I found the greatest thing today. CURVY COLORED SKINNY JEANS! I haven't been able to wear colored skinny jeans in a really long time because sure there are plenty of colored skinny jeans out there but they either are too small or they show every dent and all my cottage cheese. Even at my favorite place Bella Ella Curvy they have had some but every time I try them on they show every little dent on the back of my legs and my butt. Today I went in because it was buy one get one free leggings and I need some leggings that aren't black but I found something so much better! Skinny Jeans that fit, are flattering, and don't show my dents and cottage cheese. My husband will not be happy but they were on sale and they are a beautiful color. I wanted to by them in every color because they had burnt orange, mustard, and a bunch with polka-dots too! I haven't been this excited about an item of clothing in a long time.Oh then I got home to a cute cardigan I ordered a while ago and it is cute too! Good day!

See! Amazing right? Thank you Bella Ella Curvy! (Shirt from Target)

Sorry I apparently cant turn that way and take a picture but you had to see the backside.

Did I mention I got myself a new coat:) Target $40. Amazing deal and so many other cute ones. You have to have a cute coat for when you go to church or on dates.

Enjoy!

Casual Friday

I love casual Fridays. I love to either wear some sort of tee shirt and jeans or something school related so that I can show my school spirit! If you get a casual Friday like me then use it as a fun day to wear something different. If you don't work or don't get casual Friday use Saturday because sometimes it is just fun to wear one of your favorite old tee shirts or something. I wear concert tee shirts a lot because they are full of good memories! Casual Fridays are also good days to wear your way cute vans or toms, those go to comfortable shoes!

Today I just did a plain grey tee shirt and ignore how I look I went to the dentist and got some cavities filled so I don't feel to go so I didn't do much with myself this morning! Shirt from Target, Sweater from Norstrom, Jeans from Target, Toms from Norstrom.

Have a great weekend and Enjoy!

Wildlife Wednesdays

Apparently it's the cool thing to wear animal print on Wednesdays for wildlife Wednesdays if you are in junior high. Since I'm in junior high everyday I decided to join in. Even if you don't go to junior high you are welcome to do it too:)

There's my animal print shirt for ya. Shirt from H&M, cardigan from H&M, jeans from Target, and shoes from Burlington

Enjoy!

The Little Pink Box

Okay I am finally going to tell you about something I absolutely love! I always mean to talk about it but then I get busy or forget. Since I just got it in the mail a few minutes ago I thought I would share it with you while I am still all excited about it.

Have you ever heard of a Birchbox? If not I am going to tell you ALL about it. Birchbox is a little pink box you get in the mail every month! Its like getting a present every month even though I do pay for it. . . .I know it sounds weird but I will explain.. . .

I always know its gonna be a good day when I get this cute package in the mail!

Birchbox sends you a box of samples in the mail every month. You pay $10 a month and there is no contract so you can cancel whenever you want. I have been getting mine for at least 17 months but probably more and I don't plan on canceling anytime soon. The idea is that they want you to try the samples and then if you like something buy the full size version of it.

Everything about it is just so cute and I feel like it is definitely worth $10

When you sign up for Birchbox they have you fill out a profile that tells them what your hair, skin, and style is like. Each box is created unique to you. Because of my profile they know that I have crazy thick, course, curly hair so I get lots of fun hair products. They also know that I like perfume samples so I get one almost every month. It's great to get things you really want and will use.

It even comes boxed up all cute!

This is what I got today and I will definitely be using that shampoo and conditioner tonight! You can see I also got lip gloss, chapstick and perfume

How do you know what everything is and what to do with it? They tell you! They always send a card that explains what things are.

Of course there are times that I get things I know I wont use but I figure if I find one thing I like from each box then it is worth it to me. If there is stuff I wont use I give it away or I have a cute basket in my extra bathroom with stuff people can try or take when they use my bathroom (yes now you all want to come to my house right??). If you like trying new things then this is a great way to do it. There have been some amazing things in my box!

Here are some of my favorites. I couldn't get pictures of a lot of them because I used them all up and threw them away but here are a few to give you an idea.

This stuff is AMAZING! It is macadamia oil and it seems to do the same thing Moroccan oil does. It only takes a tiny amount so I have been using it for about 8 months and it is so good from my curly course hair.

More hair stuff that I love.

I use this chapstick and I don't know what I will do when it is gone. I guess I will actually have to by some because I don't know if I can live without it! I have had it for over a year though so it will probably be worth the prince when I have to buy it.

Okay this has to be the smartest thing ever. Why haven't I seen a mirror on all lip gloss? BEST. IDEA. EVER. Plus it is a nice tint and smells amazing.

My box of fun stuff I try out. On Saturdays or Sundays when I have extra time I pick something to try out.

A couple of other things I want to share about the boxes:

• Do you like expensive perfume but don't buy it because you are poor like me? Well with my Birchbox I get free samples of all the fancy stuff. I have about 10 different kinds that I switch between right now.
• If you aren't getting things you like you can change up your profile. After a year they also had me answer some questions about what I was liking and not liking about my box
• Have I mentioned how much I love Birchbox?:)

 Try it out and let me know what you think

Go to their website http://www.birchbox.com/ and check it out. They have great tutorials and ideas and they started a box for men too. . . Pretty sure my husband would never care about that but its a fun idea. . .

Enjoy!

Boots with the Fur. . .

At last its boot season! I have to say that summer is my favorite time of the year because I get to swim, wakeboard, and be in the sun. Most of all I don't have to work! Gotta love working in education! Although I do love summer it's not for the fashion. The BEST season for fashion is defiantly fall. There are so many fall fashions that I love but today it's just about the boots. 

I love boots! (not boots with fur but it made you curious right?) Since I'm in Utah there is snow and cold weather so I have to have a good pair of boots or two or three. . . You get the idea right? I used to always buy cheap boots because I can't afford to pay $100 or more for a pair of shoes. If you are like me that is a lot of money. It's tough to be a poor college student! Anyways. . . Last fall all of my cheap boots had holes or other problems and they weren't wearable. I was able to convince my husband that I would need some boots before it started to snow and he agreed that it would be better for me to buy a nice pair that would last so I headed to Nordstrom. I only had about $100 and in the shoe department at Nordstrom that's not much. Luckily there was a sale and I got some great boots for either $60 or $90 I can't remember. After I wore them I swore I would never go back to cheap boots. I couldn't believe the difference! Then later when it was near Christmas time my parents gave me some christmas money. Once again I headed to Nordstrom for another pair of boots. I found some Steven  Maddens for between $90 and $130. Again I learned nice quality boots are amazing! 

Wanna know the best part? I pulled them out to start wearing again and they still look and feel great on my feet. My cheap boots rarely lasted more then a season. 

Basically I am saying that if you struggle with boots like I did then save some money when you can and try some nice boots. You can also check Ross but I haven't been able to find good boots in my size yet. 

The other suggestion I have about boots is to get some simple ones that you can wear with everything. Usually I would say get the fun crazy ones but if you want nice ones to wear for a few years don't get crazy trendy boots like boots with the fur (See what I did there? Making good use of my title) because by the next year who knows what will be in style. 

Here are the boots I got last year that are still in great shape!

Sorry the pictures aren't great because I wasn't planning on posting about boots so this is just a picture I took for the outfit.

Boots and shirt from Nordstrom skirt and cardigan from Bella Ella Curvy.

Enjoy!